50 Shades for Grannies? Erotica is for Older Women, Too!

Why You're Never Too Old for Erotica

by Desiree Holt

Whoever said age is a state of mind knew what they were talking about. Though I’m 76, in many areas I still feel as if I’m in my forties or fifties. Especially when it comes to sex—reading about it, writing it or experiencing it. 

Here’s how I’ve learned to look at myself: as a younger woman I was a racy Mustang with a four-in-the-floor stick shift and speed was my thing. As a senior, I am a more solid supercab pickup or maybe an SUV, with a lot of power still under the hood and a desire to explore new adventures. 

All it takes is a good erotic story to leash that power and enjoy a sex life that is fulfilling.

I think the older we get the more we have an appreciation for the sophistication of sex, the shades, the things that make a real difference. As an erotic romance writer, I find my heroines get older and older in each story I tell. Like me, they’ve learned how to replace youthful vigor with a more nuanced experience. In fact, many of my readers – young and old alike – tell me erotica and erotic romance novels are a great place to learn and discover new ideas.

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Here are five excellent reasons why reading “those books” can be both fun and educational for the older set.

It will rev your engine

You can find tips in erotica on how to prepare for sex. As the body ages, its responses and impulses slow down. The mind may be willing but nerves and muscles aren’t quite as quick. In erotic romances, the scenes are written with a great deal of foreplay. There are so many ways to light the fire under temptation, ways for a couple to seduce each other, beginning with sensual conversation. You may even consider reading passages from a favorite erotic romance to each other. As the mind is stimulated, so is the body.

 

Envisioning fantasies will get you in the mood

Everyone has fantasies, whether or not we want to admit it. Who doesn’t want to be the woman a man lusts after, captures and takes to his bedroom and ravishes? Or the woman seduces by the erotic quality of a meal with a man whose hunger for her sparks in his eyes? Putting yourself in the place of a heroine in a sensual, erotic story kindles the mind as well as all those nerve endings in erogenous zones.

 

Play the part of characters

Imagine yourselves in the roles of your favorite characters. Remember what it was like as a kid in school when your teacher had you and other students acts out the roles in a book or play? Didn’t you grasp the emotion of the characters and feel as if you’d stepped into their shoes? Same goes for erotica. Perhaps there are things you always wanted to try with your partner but were afraid to suggest. Now you think, as a senior, the opportunity for that has passed. Not true. All those racy things you dreamed about? Find a good erotica book or erotic romance that includes scenes you lust after and you and your partner can role-play. If it’s comfortable doing it as other people, it will raise your comfort level to pursue it as yourselves.

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Build up the suspense and anticipation 

It's sad to say that people of my generation rarely, if ever, discussed sex. The topic was taboo – what happened behind the bedroom door stays behind the bedroom door, real or imagined, so we never really got to experience the buildup to really good sex. The desire. The anticipation. In erotica and erotic romance there are many, many passages dealing with taboo topics that detail how to create that atmosphere of suspense and anticipation. Whether you read them aloud to your partner or keep them to yourself, you will learn that those passages are a real boon to a “slightly senior” libido. There are absolutely no sexual acts in those passages, but by reading them you discover how to mentally prepare both yourself and your partner for sex. If the mind is willing but the body not too much, in these stories you will learn how to get the body to play catch-up. You will discover how to take the time to create a seductive atmosphere for you and your partner, to devote as much time as you like to finally tumble into the acts themselves. You’ll discover everything from the language of love to the light touches that stimulate and arouse, and learn to appreciate taking as much time as you want before the act itself. After all, getting there is half the fun, right? And you’re never too old for that!

 

Remind yourself that sex is good at every age

The age of the heroine (and hero) in many erotica books and erotic romances has migrated from the twenty-something to what is considered “mature” in recent years. There are stories about women in their middle ages who are just discovering their sexuality, and men in their middle ages who are discovering the pleasure if experimentation. The best part about these stories is the people have discovered that sex doesn’t have to be the frantic activity it was in their youth. As you age, it’s perfectly acceptable to desire types of activity you never tried before. The stories are believable and even deal with some of the difficulties, sometimes in a humorous way. The stories can create an “If they can do it so can I” attitude.

So go ahead – I urge you – buy a book or four. (They don’t even have to be mine!) If you’re shy, you can even order them online to avoid browsing in a bookstore. But open yourself up to the pleasures that good erotic stories present to you. I promise you, it will be worth it. 

 

When is a good age to read erotica?

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Desiree Holt, 76, is an award-winning author published by Ellora’s Cave. Holt writes erotic romance, which combines the conventions of traditional romance novels with more frequent sex scenes and common vernacular in place of euphemisms. For more information, visit www.ellorascave.com.

 

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