After "The Honeymoon": 5 Tips to BUILD A Relationship

relationships: keep your connection strong

When it comes to romance, the most thrilling and exciting aspect of a blossoming love affair is the “new” part. You know, that six to nine month period when we feel like we're on top of the world because we're falling in love. It’s one of the few times in our lives that we’re happily obsessed. Scientists have said that being in love is not so different from the perennial high a drug addict seeks.

It’s such an amazing, incredible feeling. Being with this new person makes you feel invincible. And the sex? WOW! You KNOW that there’s not a couple in the world enjoying the mind-blowing connection that you and your partner are experiencing.

But the reality is that, like a drug addict, you can only function under the influence for so long. The fact is that you can’t go about your daily tasks if all you do is think about this new love – this drug. You can’t keep sneaking away from work and ignoring the world around you forever… as much as you may want and as exciting as this happens to be, eventually you’ve got to come down from the high for your own sakes.

Related: 7 Days to Great Sex 

“But Marcus, that’s so unromantic,” you say. No argument from me there. But life isn’t a romantic comedy. At some point it gets real. You notice flaws. You actually register your dissatisfaction with certain things, whereas initially you ignored them to keep the peace. You even argue. It happens. But the end of the honeymoon doesn’t need to signal the end of the love and romance. It does signal the beginning of the relationship’s heavy-lifting phase and I’ve got a few tips to help you through this period when your relationship can go either way .

5 Tips for Building Your Relationship after the "Honeymoon Phase"

1. Date Night – It’s a bit cliché,’ but date nights really work. They’re excellent at keeping you connected. They force you to stay in touch mentally, emotionally and physically. In long-term relationships, particularly ones where there are kids involved, date nights are vital.

2. Make Out – Ugh, I feel so high school saying that. But some good, passionate kissing now and then gets those feelings of romance and intimacy fired up pretty easily. I'm not saying you have to have three-hour make out sessions (unless you want to). But the act of kissing has a real, biological effect on you and your partner. Scientists theorize that biologically, people kiss in order to smell our partners’ pheromones. You know, those sexy little chemicals that keep us to feeling all randy? Yeah. Smooch away baby.

Related: 5 Ways to Make Time to Make Out 

3. Laugh – Do not lose the laughter. Period. Humor and laughter have immense healing powers. Other than sex and kissing, there’s nothing that connects us more than a hearty shared laugh. So get your jokes on!

4. Affirmation – It’s easy to get caught up in routine. Especially after the honeymoon phase. But little acts of affirmation go a long way. Say, “I love you” for no reason other than you happen to be thinking it. When your partner is in one room watching TV and you’re in another room reading. Get up and walk into that room and say, “I was just’re SO freakin’ hot!” and then walk right back out and go back to your reading. Little things mean a lot.

5. Pick Your Battles – This one’s important. You’re not going to love everything about your partner. You’re not going to agree on everything... nor should you, right? Keep focused on the truly meaningful issues. Not having enough sex? That’s a problem. Him choosing to watch the game BEFORE sex? That’s annoying. But is it really a problem? Keep this in mind, whenever you start off a conversation with, “Hey this isn’t a big deal...” you’ve just made it a big deal.

As always, we’d love to hear your suggestions too! What do you do after the honeymoon period?

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Hailing from the San Francisco Bay Area, veteran media professional and author of "Your Straight Male Friend..Every Woman Should Have One", Marcus Osborne has honed his talent and keen ability to convey to women, the inner workings of the male mind via regular forays into the "friendzone."Check out more from Marcus at Twitter: @SMFMarcus

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