SEX: Understanding Men’s Natural Drive

.....and making it work for you!

Sex is the epicenter of all successful relationships.

Who stays in a long-term relationship with a partner who doesn’t float your orgasmic boat? Maybe some of you have stayed in a sexually unfulfilling relationship because of other wonderful qualities that your partner possesses. He makes a wonderful soufflé and he walks your little labradoodle when it rains. But ultimately, if your sex life is not up to snuff, one day you will find yourself staring into the mirror when a thought balloon pops up and says, “I need to get laid…badly”.  There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s a human reaction. When the sex falls short for whatever reason, it usually becomes a deal-breaker. That’s just how we humans are wired. Handling sexuality can be a real challenge for men in general, as well as in building their relationships.

Guys love sex. They think about it all of the time.

The first time a guy meets you, whether it is consciously or subconsciously, he is wondering about how sex might be with you. I am not condemning my comrades for this or apologizing, because I too am guilty as charged, but them’s the facts, ladies. Any guy who tells you different is not telling the truth. This does not mean that sex is all he thinks about when he is with you. Thankfully, guys know how to compartmentalize. Once he has given you his under the radar sexual once over, he will usually behave normally and even respectfully, especially if it is a business situation. Maybe things were different back in the days when we dwelled in caves, but there is no need for you to be concerned that sex is the only thing on the male mind. However, when you wear that black pencil skirt with the slit up the side, he will think about your legs and where they lead. Again, it’s just how dudes are wired. You can hit him on the head with a stick like a Punch and Judy puppet, but I promise you that he’ll keep thinking about sex. It’s in the male vibration and unless you are mindful of it and know how to deflect it, it can be the elephant in the room. Fortunately, you know the drill and today’s men are not that difficult to manage.

What do you do if are in a “relationship” with a guy who only wants to have sex with you?

Unfortunately, if many men, usually the younger guys, had their way, a lot of them would want sex, and that’s it. This is a shameful truth. Many men fear emotional intimacy, do not care to share their feelings, and are not good listeners. They’re self-centered, competitive, and ego-driven. That does not leave a lot of room for relationships. Ladies, you have the power to help men evolve.

Sure, nowadays women can be as sexual as guys. Many young ladies will hump and dump a guy; maybe keeping him around if he is well built and knows how to make her tingle all over. But thankfully, for the most part women still want relationships along with the sheet rumpling.  As a Guy’s Guy, the best thing a woman can do to evolve a relationship that is locked into all sex all the time, is to keep the conversation going. A guy knows that he has a free ride when he gets all the cookies without doing anything besides showing up and hopping under the covers. Call him on his crap.

If you’re keeping him satisfied, I’ll bet that he will pay attention. And if he values and respects you, he will step up and treat you with respect. Guys who like women and have had fulfilling relationships know that it takes two individuals to make a team. And real men want relationships with great women.  On the other hand, if he continues avoiding any attempts to get beyond just having sex with you, you’re being used. Don’t let him do that. You deserve more. In fact, you deserve the very best.

How do you avoid having a relationship built just on sex?

This post is sponsored by Robert Manni, President of BrandEnable LLC, a marketing consultancy in New York City, and author of the novel THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, a fast-paced tale of flawed men and savvy women competing for love, sex, power, and money in the city where they play for keeps, described as Sex and the City meets Mad Men

 

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