How A Team Mentality Can Benefit Your Marriage

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Can a team mentality benefit your marriage? Freelance blogger Alan Brady believes the answer is yes. Alan explained that after watching me, Dr. Karen Ruskin AKA The Marriage Saver on the news, he hoped I would be interested in him being a guest blogger on my blog. Alan felt his insight and style has something to offer to my readers. Upon reading the blog he created for my readers, I feel that indeed, there are many who would enjoy this article. What a great fit for the message I consistently share which is; the importance of being a team-mate with your spouse through the various stages and phases that the journey of marriage brings. Check out Alan’s personal account of how a team mentality can benefit your marriage.

How A Team Mentality Can Benefit Your Marriage

By: Guest Blogger Alan Brady

What is it about our relationships that allow them to survive and thrive while so many others are already calling in a divorce lawyer before the new drapes have gone out of style? Is our love stronger or better somehow? Did we just get lucky and win the partner-lottery? Or, perhaps, is there something in the way that we approach marriage and married life that has given us an advantage?

In my case, I think it must have been all three. I was the luckiest man alive to find and be chosen by my beautiful wife, and our love is definitely stronger and better than any that came before. However, I do believe that there is something that we have that none of our divorced friends ever had in their marriages: my wife and I are a team.

Traditional gender roles are important to a lot of people, and despite the fact that I think of myself as an enlightened man, I still get a little twinge when I remember the times when my wife had to carry us financially. I would never discourage my wife from pursuing her chosen profession, and I would never begrudge her success, but some part of me is sure that it is my responsibility, not just to make money, but to make more money than her.

Even though I’ve never been able to completely eliminate these outdated impulses, I know that they are simply leftovers from my father and grandfather’s generations, and I work hard never to let them cast a shadow over the pride and respect I feel for my wife. More importantly, I’ve never let these antiquated ideas keep me or my family from making the smartest financial choices available to us.

My wife and I are a team. Sometimes I’m the team captain, but more often she is calling the shots. Sometimes I have had to carry the team while she focused on other things like bearing our children or caring for her aging parents. At other times, we’ve been almost entirely dependent on her earnings while I struggled to find work.

Although these weren’t my proudest moments, I also feel no shame about them. I married a strong, capable woman who is smarter than me, and I have been lucky and grateful to her for her support and help, both in good times and bad. I have also tried to offer her the same, and I know that together we are more than the sum of our parts.

Guest Blogger Alan Brady’s Bio:

Alan Brady is a freelance writer who is fascinated by the way that time is changing our perceptions of family, marriage, and partnership. He constantly strives to understand the difference between successful and unsuccessful relationships in order to offer guidance to struggling couples. He currently writes for Attorneys.com - which helps people locate local lawyers who specialize in child custody cases.

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Follow Dr. Karen on Twitter or Facebook. Media Psychotherapist Guest Expert; Relationships, Parenting, Human Behavior, Analyzes Hot Topics In The News. Has appeared on FOX News Channel's: The O'Reilly Factor, FOX & Friends, FOX & Friends FIRST, America Live, Hannity, America's Newsroom, and FOX Business Network's: Cavuto. Go–to for FOX News Boston including the regular segment; Ask Dr. Karen. Also appeared on ABC's Good Morning America, Discovery Network's Destination America, The Steve Harvey TV Show, and more. Sought after Radio Guest Expert. Columnist. Often quoted in various print media: FOX Business, FOX News Magazine, Boston Globe, Boston Herald, Care.com, Good Housekeeping, Yahoo Shine, Parents, Parenting, CNN, TIME, Woman's Day, Men's Health, USA Today, and more. Owner/Founder/President: Dr. Karen Ruskin & Associates, Inc. Based in Massachusetts. Author of: 9 Key Techniques For Raising Respectful Children and Dr. Karen's Marriage Manual. Copyright 2012.

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