It's Parents often wonder what the best way is to get children to keep their rooms neat and clean (or at least halfway), and how important this is. There are times when no parent is sure it is worth their efforts. They will personally need to decide how important it is to them. It is good for children to learn to take on responsibilities around the house that match their developmental level. They can learn to pick up their toys and even their clothes before they are two and can expand those good habits each year. Of course, they need to be patiently and consistently taught, and that can be so frustrating to parents that they find it more efficient to take the responsibilities on themselves. Unfortunately, children also learn that if they frustrate their parents sufficiently, the tasks will get done for them. Thus, some bad habits begin.

The cleanliness standard for children's rooms doesn't have to match the standard for the rest of your home, but it should meet some reasonable threshhold level so that 1) you're not embarrassed to bring a friend past the children's rooms, and 2) your children will become accustomed to a reasonably organized and clean environment.

Sit with each child and make a list of chores for which he or she should be responsible. Most families want beds made, clothes put in the laundry, and toys picked up. Some families include vacuuming and dusting, bathroom cleaning, or other household tasks on their list. Be sure your children have received your "how to" instructions for each task on the list. Explain to your children that you will not nag or remind but will inspect each Friday at five (or a time that would be convenient for you). You will expect all listed activities completed before weekend activities begin. That means no television, Nintendo,7 inviting friends over, or visiting friends until their work is finished. Stay calm, firm, and consistent until they have developed good habits.

Some parents may choose a daily inspection before evening television. Some parents give their children an allowance only after inspection. An effective plan includes a specific list of activities, an exact time for accountability, and consistent follow-through by parents until the good habits are formed.

Room-cleaning problems stem from inconsistency and nagging without follow-through (a problem to which all of us are vulnerable). If you've been remiss, you're not alone, but don't be surprised to hear your children debate with you about their rights to live in their rooms the way they want them. Since children don't pay rent (or a mortgage payment) and parents do, it does establish that parents may still have reasonable control within their own home. However, do be reasonable in setting children-comfortable expectations. If you set your cleanliness standards too high, your children will fight you, and you will find yourself wondering if it's worth the struggle.

Here's another tip to help your children. If their rooms are really out of hand, work side-by-side with them to organize and clean the rooms up thoroughly. That will make them feel like they have "a fresh start" and will encourage them to maintain the cleanliness. The side-by-side work can be fun and will give them a sense of your partnership instead of them feeling embattled with you.

As an adolescent I remember wondering why it was so important to my mother that I hang up my coat instead of leaving it on the nearest chair. Hanging coats was just not on my agenda, and I truly did not understand her point at the time. She persevered and I finally learned; then I persevered and our children learned. The real agenda is responsibility and reasonable organizationCthe requirements for effective accomplishment at home, at school, and in the workplace. Your children's rooms are a good place for them to start.