Integrity: 6 Tips to Know Who Has It

Here is some immensely valuable advice:

“A contract is only as good as the people that sign it,” a lawyer once said to me.

In other words, if a person doesn’t have integrity, their signature means nothing because they aren’t trustworthy.

If they are dishonest in one area of their life they will be dishonest in other areas of their life.

When you meet someone without integrity—run—and run fast.

Integrity certainly comes into play in the dating world.

Years ago when I lived in San Francisco during a first date with a man at a lovely, romantic restaurant, he ordered red wine for us, and no later than 5 minutes afterward he start yelling at the waiter demanding that we be served our wine.

What was the lesson of that date?

Someone’s character is quickly disclosed by how they treat others—which is how they will treat you too—it’s just a matter of time.

These are 6 integrity lookouts:

  1. Align with givers not takers: Here are characteristics a man or woman with integrity has—morality, honesty, honor, trustworthiness, authenticity, genuineness, and nobility.
  2. Obey your intuition: A “red flag” is a sign that something is off—however, don’t wait to take action until you see evidence of this in your outer world—if your intuition whispers that something is wrong even if you don’t see anything yet it doesn’t matter. Listen to your intuition!
  3. Hear the truth of what is said, not what you want to hear: If a woman or man explains they don’t want a relationship, believe them, they are being upfront. Whereas, if you are in a stage of your life when you do want a relationship although at the same time continue to date a single who doesn’t, you are demonstrating self-delusion and lack of integrity, since you are not being true to yourself or truthful in your behavior.
  4. Do their actions match their words: Are they who they say they are—or, are they saying what they think you want to hear—but not the truth? When you communicate and spend time with them you will notice discrepancies, for example, they state they are reliable despite the fact that they are always very late, never on time to meet you when you have plans together.
  5. The link between integrity and respect: If an individual doesn’t have integrity they will not respect you. In addition, if they are unable to respect others that signals they don’t have self-respect, which is an indication of extremely low self-esteem. Beware of someone like this.
  6. Take the high road: Consistently apply your highest values to your life and with grace. There will be times when that path dictates creative solutions will be required so that while you are always being honest with yourself and maintaining self-care, at the same time you are honest with others and “doing the right thing” for the others involved as well.

There is an expression in the world of dating: Does this single deserve a seat at your table?

Instead, I recommend this: Do not allow this person to even set foot into your dining room.

You teach people how to treat you: If you agree to enter into, or stay in, a business or personal relationship where there is lack of integrity, what does that say about you?

It reveals you have lack of healthy self-love.

Integrity is vital to all relationships, and it starts with the relationship you have with yourself, it is essential that you have integrity!

If a difficult man, woman or circumstance has appeared in your life it is shining a spotlight on where you need to learn and heal—thus it is a gift—an opportunity for you to grow.


Copyright © 2017 By Zoe Summer

Zoe Summer is an inspirational author and empowering speaker who teaches people how to live life to its fullest, and is known as "The Feel Great Expert." Zoe Summer is also the Author and Artist of the book "YOU ARE ENOUGH: 30 Mini Mantras For Self-Transformation, Be Empowered, Enlightened, and Inspired” available on Amazon. To learn about personal development: Subscribe to her “Heart Connection Blog” and visit her online at

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