MARnopoly No More

January 30, 2015

Hello MARtians,

As the Winter snow continues to fall and the bursts of sunshine reflect off the morning icicles, I embrace the Winter by cozying up in my home, planning gatherings that keep me inside—warm and snuggled up with my schnauzer by the fireplace. That is, until I get an invitation to play Monopoly—known in my circle as MARnopoly. Why? Because playing with me is like playing with Donald Trump (without the comb-over of course.) 

Truth be told, no one will play with me any more, as I take this game very seriously and I play to win. I buy properties, add homes and eventually upgrade to hotels. I have paid player enough to keep them alive just so I could wipe out the competitors.  My game piece of choice is always the dog. I’m told I’m “pure evil” when it comes to strategies and negotiations and I am relentless in acquiring properties. To play with me is an experience, as it were.

But on Monday my 30-year era of monopolizing Monopoly came to an end. I am not sure I am ready to deal with it. 

Yvonne O’Kane, the owner of my TV Makeover home, whipped me by dominating the board and bringing me to complete bankruptcy. In the end I had two dollars; there was no pride in taking my walk of shame, as my former glory days were over. I had been doing so well during the match, but suddenly one bad business decision on my part led her to monopolize the board, sending me home defeated. 

I can’t help but wonder, since I defeated so many friends and family members over the years, if somehow they were channeled through Yvonne as a way to get their revenge. (Still refuse to rename it MonopolYvonne, though!)

So note to self: Even with such a long winning streak, you’re only as good as your last game. So a rematch is definitely in the future, but first I must heal and deal with the huge agony of defeat.  

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